With all of the rehab appointments I’ve had, I somehow got on a list that got me invited to attend a support group for people with low or no vision. I decided to try it out.
The group meets at a nonprofit organization that provides services for the blind and visually impaired. I pulled into the parking lot at the same time as two MTA Mobility buses. I realized that all the people on the two buses were going to the same meeting that I was, and thankfully there were a lot of people. Lots of people! All different colors, sizes, shapes. Nearly everyone had a cane, and it was amazing for me to see this. I ran to the door to hold it so that these folks could pass through. I followed them into the lobby, where after a few minutes a man with dark glasses driving a scooter and holding a white cane came to greet us. “Follow me,” he said.
What a parade we were! I quickly learned that if you can't see, you make noise, and these people made quite a bit. “Go Left.” “Now Right.” “Straight ahead.” “Did I hit someone?” “Who's behind me?” “Keep going.” Many of the folks had talking wristwatches: “11:00 o’clock,” they all announced at more or less the same time. (I had seen these in the catalogues, but had never actually heard/seen one.)
I sort of followed the pack and not quite knowing what to do, I helped guide people as we walked along. Along the way, we stopped so someone could "show" us where the bathrooms were – all by verbal direction and description.
It was, pardon the bad pun, a real eye-opener. It was the first time I had seen a group of blind, near-blind, or going-blind people. I looked at people’s faces, and at their eyes. Their canes were all different sizes compared to their height. My cane comes up almost to my neck. I saw that some canes reached all the way to people’s ears, and some were shorter. I also noticed how people were using their canes. My WC Lady is pretty strict about technique. When the cane is to the left, the right foot is out. These folks were waving their canes any which way, and it didn’t seem to matter.
We made our way to what is normally a dining room room and the 50 of us sat around a large table. I was probably one of the youngest and most sighted. Within minutes, a man across from me leaned over and stared into my face. He squinted his eyes and scrunched his face. I wasn’t quite sure what the protocol was, so I just responded by letting him look. Finally he said, “You have glasses on. That means you have vision. How much do you have?” Well. It was quite the icebreaker. He had lost most of his vision about five years ago. He said that some days are better than others. Mostly he sees objects and movement. Sometimes he can see more, and sometimes less.
I talked with him and with others who were sitting around us. There were about four or five people who had organized this meeting. All of them had visual impairments, and all had canes. Up until now, I always felt conspicuous with a cane; now I was feeling conspicuous without one. I had my smaller cane, an identity cane, in my purse. I pulled it out and opened it. I wanted my big cane - I wanted to look like every one else! I wanted to be a part of the group.
Refreshments were at the front of the room and one of the organizers explained where everything was - from right to left - the coffee, the hot water and tea bags, sweeteners, fruit, cookies, muffins and brownies. A married couple was sitting close to me and they were discussing what they wanted. Again, I wasn’t sure what the protocol was – was it ok to ask if I could get them something, or would that be considered a breach of etiquette? I could see and much more easily navigate the sweeping canes! Finally I did ask, and they gratefully accepted. While waiting for the meeting to start we had a good conversation. Both had been blind since they were young, went to school together, married and adopted four children. Now they are grandparents. The gentleman said that he could see until he was about four, but he doesn’t remember what it was like.
The meeting started and we all went around the room and introduced ourselves. This was overwhelming for me. So many of these people had lost their vision only recently or within the last five years. And they talked about going through a grieving process and a loss of independence. Their words touched me in a very raw place. When it came to me, I said I was new to all of this. I had felt alone, and in just the last half hour, I was feeling so much better.
When the meeting proper started, we talked about what kind of a group it would be. Would it be sharing challenges and how to overcome them, or would it more of a social group and participate in bowling (yes, bowling), dancing and other activities? At one point, one of the organizers called for a vote and asked for people to raise their hands. Not quite a hand raising group! Everyone laughed!
At 1:00 pm, all the talking watches went off and the meeting was over. I bid farewells to my new friends. It was an amazing experience. I was comfortable with these folks – they had traveled or were traveling the same journey that I was on, and I can learn from them. Unfortunately, I’ll be on vacation and won’t be able to go to the next meeting. But I’ll be back.
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